The Truth About Life
by summerscarves
Summary: Jasey is being punished with one year of spending quality time with Spock. It would actually be punishment if they didn't both deep down want to be there. Honestly not as lame as it sounds. Spock/OFC
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Kay, this is my first attempt to post a story I've written in YEARS. And this is also my first ever attempt to write a fic based on a movie, as I used to reside only in music. Having to follow an already established characterization is a little difficult for me so don't hate on mine too much.

Uh, disclaimer, I own nothing.

Also, I keep telling myself that this story is going to be loooong. I already have 10 pages so let's see where this goes (:

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I came into consciousness and felt my head start screaming with pain. I opened my eyes a crack and a blade of grass pushed itself onto my left cornea. I groaned and snapped them back shut, not really wanting to face reality just yet. In this slumber I actually dreamed, I saw myself walking through a desert by myself. It was a pretty bland dream until out of nowhere a ram ran up and started knocking me in the side. It didn't hurt until after a couple minutes and I finally tried to swat it away. It stopped and I felt something cold on my arm, after a couple of seconds I was jolted back to consciousness as I realized it was a person's fingers.

I turned my head slowly and let my eyes clear up to fixate on the person standing above me. I felt something in the pit of my stomach that told me I was about to get a severe bitching from one of my commanders but then a softer voice told me otherwise. "Jasey, Jasey, you've gotta get up." I smiled a little as I felt my roommate's hand slide down to mine and she pulled me up. She grabbed my shoulders as all the liquids from last night continued to take their toll on my sense of balance. I blinked a few times in rapid succession to try to return my eyesight to its normal capacity as I turned towards the house. It was in shambles and there was no one to be seen; conscious at least. I did see a pair of legs propped up onto the couch from the floor through the window, and if I was correct, I knew whose legs they were.

Carly pat my shoulder once just to make sure I'd recovered my legs, and after seeing I had for the most part, ran up the stairs to check out the damage in the house. I followed her a couple minutes later, though I didn't really care to actually see what damage I'd inadvertently caused. I looked around and it seemed that someone had cleaned up all the cups and other paraphernalia that should have been strewn around the rooms. Instead the only damage was just the normal holes in the walls and broken tables and chairs. I was impressed. I walked back to the front room to find just who I expected, Jim, lying on the floor with an open bottle of Jack pouring a slow trickle into his mouth.

"Kirk." I sat down on the couch and smacked his leg, he jumped and the bottle fell to his side, spilling some onto the carpet that had already been stained beyond recognition. "What happened?"

He sat up and leaned against a chair that at one point in time belonged to a 1900's doctor. In fact, this whole house had, it had been vacant since his death many years ago. The academy bought it a few years back to use as a student center on the edge of campus and then stopped paying attention to it. "It's Captain." He grinned smugly and took another swig out of the bottle. It took me about a minute to realize that he wasn't going to answer my question, and I didn't really feel like pushing it so I left everything up to the imagination, which was sometimes a good tool.

A couple minutes later and Carly came into the room to report that we were now alone in the house, and only a few moments after that I saw two black Starfleet uniforms round the corner and head straight for the front door. "You two," I stood up quickly and rushed to the window to block any person from seeing inside, "get out." Carly grabbed Jim's hand and pulled him shakily to his feet. I glanced back and saw him opening his mouth to ask a question, "just go, I'll take the fall for this. No need for you to lose your job over a stupid party." He, again, tried to speak but Carly pulled him back towards the kitchen and I heard the door close a moment later.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dr. Carter." I turned around and saw Bones walking towards me out of the turbolift. I acknowledged his presence and turned around, walking slower to allow him to catch up. He walked briskly naturally so it only took a moment for him to come alongside me and not another moment for me to match his stride towards the sickbay. "I was just coming down to check on everything. I trust you've kept it all under control." I noticed him glance at me so I only nodded. "And you also have a message from the bridge." I sighed, it was either going to be a stupid joke from Jim or more meaningless assignments from Spock. I'd left my data pad in the sickbay as I rushed out to engineering where Scotty said there had been an emergency. Turns out, to those men, hammering your finger once was an emergency that needed immediate and lengthy care. I estimated I'd been gone for over an hour, which would explain why whatever message that was meant for me had to be delivered by Bones.

He pulled his data pad out from the crook of his arm and pressed a couple buttons before handing it to me. Noting the length, I'd figured out who it was from before I even started reading.

Dr. Carter, this is just to remind you that we have our tri-weekly meeting tonight at 1900 hours in the mess hall on deck 3. I felt the need to remind you after you failed to show up for our last scheduled meeting. Per regulation, if you are to miss any more of our meetings I will be forced to report you to Starfleet for failing to comply with your supervising officer's requests. Commander Spock

I scoffed and handed the data pad back to my actual supervising officer, "did you read this?" He shook his head and looked down for a cursory review before lifting his head again, shit eating grin plastered across it. "This isn't funny, Bones. This happened two months ago, and I still have ten months to go on this goddamned punishment. And I'm getting really tired of having to spend my nights with that … that … alien." Bones finally released the laughter he was holding in and I couldn't help but chime in for a moment before recomposing myself. It seemed that parts of Bones' seething personality were starting to rub off on my impressionable self.

It really wasn't much of a laughing matter, my last two months had been hell and I only felt that with my growing hatred of this process, it could only get worse. After getting caught red-handed by myself in the remains of what once was a beautiful house now torn to shreds by one too many bad decisions on my part, it took every belief system in the universe to keep me in Starfleet. Well, mainly it just took Bones' convincing edge and loud voice to convince high command that not only should I stay in Starfleet, but I should _not_ be removed from my position on the Enterprise. Apparently I was 'a valued asset to his medical team and he could not see himself leaving the planet without me at his side.' Most all the events leading up to our departure involving Bones and I had a strange air of something I didn't really want to think about, something that would give him even more of a reason to keep me around but I didn't like to think about those things.

The committee that ultimately determined my fate decided that Bones' argument was convincing enough, either that or this wasn't something that was at the top of their list of things to discuss. But somehow Commander Spock came into the equation, most likely knowing that Jim was somehow involved and trying to get him to come to light with his confession. I could've told him from the beginning that that wouldn't happen, never would Jim own up to something he'd done. So with this other conflict at hand – the fact that I wouldn't give up friends to lessen my punishment – I was charged with one year in Spock's care, since we'd be together for the next five anyway, and he'd do some magic to straighten me out. Honestly, I never thought there was anything wrong with me.

So in the past two months, half of which had been spent aboard the Enterprise, I'd been meeting with Spock multiple times a week where the nitpicky professor in him would treat it like a private tutoring session and lecture me on anything and everything. I'd yet to actually pay attention. I'm sure he felt, inside his Vulcan shell of non-emotion that what he was 'teaching' me had some sort of lifelong value tagged to it, something that I could keep forever, telling my children about this advice I once learned from a Vulcan. And, well, last I checked, I wasn't going to have kids.

My shift ended and I sulked slowly to my quarters, somehow conveniently, but not, wedged between the captain's and the good doctor's. Though I guess I'd take these senior officer's quarters over the ones for the ensigns any day. I encountered Jim as I was leaving to go down a floor and meet his second in command. No part of the conversation was extraordinary, just a passing 'hi, how are you, nice to see you' between friends. I then mentioned I was going down to have dinner and a lecture with Spock and all he could do was laugh and wish me luck. Sometimes I wished that I'd given him up, or at least convinced him to do so himself. Coward.

On my short ride on the turbolift, I managed to only check the time, noting that I was fifteen minutes early. I was about to check on Spock's location when the doors opened to reveal him standing at the end of the short corridor in front of the open door to the almost empty mess hall. It had been about an hour since regular shift ended and most people ate directly following that to begin the day's extracurriculars so the mess hall, and mostly the halls, on this floor at least, were empty. I put on my straightest face, straightened my casual-yet-not-seeming-too-informal shirt and stepped slowly down the hallway towards him. As I got closer to him, I noted that his eyes were focused on something directly above my left shoulder - so minutely above it, in fact, that I would think he were actually staring at my shoulder had I not already become accustomed to the fact that he did this. Damn his formalities, I wasn't even a superior officer and he was still standing at attention. A loose attention it was though, meaning that his legs were spread a little more than normal, this was a bit of a step towards normalcy between the two of us. I never knew what to do to greet him since he didn't move for a few beats after I stopped in front of him, I'd just started clicking my heels together and saluting at him much in the same way that I'd seen in really old videos during my childhood. It had yet to garner a response.

I sighed and walked around him and into the room that I was finally able to assess as empty. "I'm too hungry to deal with you."

"Hunger is in no way linked to a person's ability to 'deal with' another person, as you put it." I heard the soft tap of his shoes walking behind me to the food replicators. I stepped up to one and stuck my card in as he did the same at the one to my right. After a couple seconds the doors slid open and we both grabbed our trays simultaneously, causing us to also turn around at the same time. I always thought it'd be difficult for a man with no emotion to be able to exude awkward, but he managed. He stepped back in his gentlemanly manner and let me pass to choose which of the few tables I'd like to sit at. Seeing the futile task for what it was, I walked to the closest table and set my stuff down. He set his down across from me and we went about eating quietly. I never quite got the point of us meeting for dinner when we never actually got anything done until we had both eaten.

About halfway through our respective meals, the doors to the mess swished opened and I heard the loud scuffle of multiple pairs of boots cross the floor to the replicators. Spock didn't give the men the time of day, focusing more on his meal than anything around him but my human curiosity was never satiated. I glanced up just as four red-shirted men whisked past our table and kept an eye on them until they sat at a table across the room to my left. It was at this same moment that I chose to get up and take my tray back to the replicator to be taken away. I paused back at the table and waited a moment for Spock to acknowledge my presence. It took him only about forty-five seconds, about fifty less than normal and I only nodded my head towards the restrooms in the far corner. Having to tell him that I was using the facilities made me feel like a child but apparently this was all he thought I was. I made it a point to veer my course towards the now-obvious engineering officers on my way. Only one of them had I seen before, and even then, it was in a first-year class and couldn't remember his name, barely even his face. I gave them all my best smile and picked out my favorite based on how they returned. The blonde in the leftmost corner of the table only looked up and turned up the corners of his mouth slightly, he was older, so this small change altered his face in a good way.

I didn't actually have to go to the bathroom, hopefully Spock had picked up on this obvious trend by now, but I'd never know with his penchant for seriousness. If someone else, Kirk, for example, had known about my habit of flirting with men on the way to the bathroom, he'd at least smile, and knowing him, jokes would ensue. But Spock, nope, it didn't seem like there was even a teensy bit of happiness inside him. I got a piece of paper towel and pulled a pen out of my pocket, writing my room number and midnight on it before folding it small enough to fit in my hand unnoticeably but large enough for someone else to notice. I'd never actually done something like this before but I knew my boredom would hit its peak tonight and I needed a little more excitement than drinking brandy in Bones' office with Kirk.

I took a couple extra seconds to freshen up and reemerged. Spock glanced up at the door's opening and I walked slowly, seriously considering chickening out but he looked away right before I got to the table. Thinking I better go big or go home, I rubbed my hand along the man's chest, releasing my note halfway through the slight caress. Spock looked back unexpectedly and I snatched my hand away, losing all the ability to think, so I couldn't even try to recover with a hand sweeping through my hair, instead my hand just went straight up and fell down with a slap to my thigh. I made it back across the room and Spock stood, I noted that his tray was already gone and he stood with a certain expectancy that made me depressed to even be able to pick up. He turned and I followed, watching his even stride, trying to replicate it but my human self lacked something that he seemed to take advantage of. For only a second I felt a pang of jealousy, for even _I_ knew that Vulcans were a superior race. We walked down the corridor and into the turbolift to take us back up a floor. He found out quickly that I was the least distracted when we were alone and if he ever wanted to rope me in he'd have to do it all one-on-one.

As soon as we entered his room, on the opposite side of the captain's from mine, I immediately glanced to the small table in his common room. Typically he set up his plans for the night before dinner so there wasn't much we had to do once we got into the room. I felt more and more like a child with every passing day and in some deep, dark part of myself I felt like he understood this. He just hadn't chosen to portray that fact yet, I boldly held out hope. I noticed a 3D chess set on the table and smiled inwardly. My brother and I had played this game when we were younger and I'd gotten pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I guess pretty good against a human is just mediocre against a Vulcan, but I still liked my chances of being able to do something I was somewhat confident in.

He poured me a glass of water and joined me, already perched, at the table to begin the game. I'm sure his little lesson had an important meaning other than 'let's sit around and play chess for a few hours' but I didn't really care either way. An exorbitant amount of time later and he'd beat me more times than I really wanted to remember. I sighed and leaned back into my chair after one more of his wins and I was beginning to feel intellectually drained. "If it offers any reprieve to your frustrations, I feel that you are slowly beginning to become a taxing opponent." Even in his technical speak, I couldn't exactly understand if he was trying to make me feel better or just get me riled up for the next round.

"You could at least let me win a game, throw logic aside for a minute. Accidentally not see that there is a piece you can move to beat me." His eyes moved slowly up from the chess set and met mine in a confusing glance, "I can see the wheels turning in your head, what's happening up there?"

His bemused look continued, "it is highly unlikely that I have any form of wheels in my head, and you, a doctor, of all people should know this." He paused when I barked out a laugh, I had yet to get used to his logical aspect of everything and some of the things he said still managed to utterly perplex me that the thought even entered his head. "I would also like to point out that placing logic aside, like you said, is illogical, and impossible. If you want to beat me at this game, you should not wait for my strategy to worsen, but you should work to better your own." And here it was; whatever lesson he was trying to teach me.

I rolled my head and dropped my head back as far as it would go, "how long do I have to say tonight?" He stayed silent for a little too long so I looked back up and he was only staring at me with the same blank look on his face as always. "So I'll take that as you're not done with me yet?" His only answer was to stand up, pick up my empty glass and carry it across the room. The answer he was trying to portray didn't actually make its way through my thick skull so I stayed rooted to my chair. He pulled out a teapot and started busying himself in the small kitchen area as I sunk lower into my chair and laid my head back to see if I could get some sort of nap. I sighed after a couple of minutes of silence and turned to look at him, he still had his back to me but he wasn't really doing much of anything. "How are things going with you and Lieutenant Uhura?"

I watched as his shoulders tensed and I could see in my head his face hardening, pulling his lips into a thin line and his eyebrows to a normal height. "My personal matters should be of no interest to you."

"Well I was just trying to make conversation." I shrugged even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Besides, it seems you know everything about _my_ personal life so it's only fair I receive some of yours in return."

He finally turned around, two cups of tea in his hand and his face looked exactly like I pictured it, I really loved messing with him, "it would only be wise for you to put this conversation out of your mind for I will not satisfy you with any of the personal knowledge you seek." I sighed again and looked away from him and only turned back slightly as he handed me my tea and resumed his position in front of me.

Realizing that he wasn't about to strike up a conversation of his own – as Vulcans were never much for small talk – I decided to dance down a less dangerous road. "Tell me about Vulcans." His one eyebrow shot up to a look of question at my extremely vague statement, "I mean, tell me interesting little factoids that could possibly spark a conversation between us."

He took a sip of his tea and lowered his eyebrow only slightly, "I am certain you learned everything you need to know about the Vulcan culture in your xenolinguistics class. Anything I would tell you now would only be a repeat of the things you learned at the academy."

I laughed only slightly, "I think you would know, as my professor, that I never paid attention in that class based on my less-than-admirable score."

"If the subject held no interest for you then, then I must inquire what has piqued your sudden interest."

I sighed, he was absolutely impossible, "I don't know, I took the class in my first year of the academy, I was still trying to get used to things, I guess learning about things that were not directly related to my doctoral studies held no merit in my mind. Now, I guess I feel I've learned most all of what I need to know to be a doctor so I'd like to broaden my horizons. And what better than to learn about Vulcans from a Vulcan." I waved my hand between us and drank some of the tea that I'd found to be addicting over the days, I was going to have to ask him one day what it actually was.

"On the contrary, I do not think you will ever know everything you need to know to be a doctor as new discoveries are always being made."

I found this to be the best moment to do something brash to get away since this night couldn't actually have anything else in store for us. "Fuck your logic Spock." I slammed my cup on the table and stood up, a little wary to leave my last bit of tea behind. "I was just trying to have some conversation and learn a little bit about you, but apparently that's too much for you to handle." His face remained absolutely calm, "and you can't even respond because you're a fucking unemotional prick." I ran a hand quickly through my hair out of frustration and walked towards his door. I slammed the button on the wall and it slid slowly open, I turned towards him right before I walked through, "are we done?" He nodded once stoically and I marched out the door and directly up to the first one I came to. I pushed the button at his door and surprisingly, the door opened automatically, apparently it wasn't late enough for him to lock his door yet.

Jim was sitting on the small couch across the room from his disheveled bed. I only noted the state of his bed because it meant one of two things, he'd had sex recently or he'd just woken up, and when I saw him, shirtless on the couch with a grin plastered across his face, I knew it was the former. I didn't really even acknowledge his presence as I made a bee-line for his replicator and started pressing buttons for copious amounts of alcohol. "I'm glad you only use me for my alcohol." I turned and glanced quickly at Jim and new immediately that he'd already been partaking this evening.

"It's not using you if you know you like it. And we both know we wouldn't be friends if wasn't for our inability to stay sober when times are hard." I smirked even though I knew he couldn't see it. "Besides, I'm only forced to do this because your beloved _Scotty_ has yet to make the necessary modifications in my room and I really don't feel like walking down to sickbay and/or having to spend excess time with Bones." I picked up the three bottles that appeared in the machine and turned around just to be face-to-face with the man I just basically insulted. "Not that spending time with you isn't a blast, but you know what they say," I pat his arm, "distance makes the heart grow fonder." The look on his face never portrayed that he'd felt any way hurt by what I'd said but he was the type of man to bring up this sort of situation months later as you were trying to have a battle of wits. He smiled and tried to grab one of the bottles out of my hands but I turned away quickly, "nope, you get your own. I just had to spend way too many hours alone with Spock, I deserve this."

I walked towards the door, bottles in hand and prepared to leave, "you could at least stay a minute so I don't feel so bad about your alcoholism." I turned and saw Jim smiling from the couch, Bones settling in beside him with a cup full of brandy in his hand.

I sighed, "what time is it?"

"2230, more or less." Bones gulped down half of his drink and smiled strangely at me, he always seemed to be weirder once he had a couple in him.

I sighed again, softer this time, more just in a resigned manner as I walked over to sit in the chair positioned across from the couch. "I'll stay for an hour, then I have to go."

"What do you have to do?" I wanted to smack the smile off of Jim's face, "did Spock give you a bedtime now?" All I did was shake my head and open one of my own bottles, taking the biggest swig I could manage.

It was a couple more minutes before I finally stood up to leave, "I'm pulling a James Kirk, I'll be sure to tell you how that goes." The smirk that found its way to his face this time was one of knowing, though I wasn't quite sure if he actually did. When I walked out the door the blonde was already walking down the corridor towards my room, still in his standard reds but he looked cleaner than before. I smiled, "come on in."


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning was my turn to come in later and stay later. Sickbay was boring earlier in the morning and later at night and Bones and I found we just ended up running into each other more than actually getting work done so we staggered our schedules. This morning it worked for me quite well. Even though I didn't start until three hours later than normal, I still managed to be an hour late, though no one seemed to notice or care. I still felt awkward so I walked lightly across the room behind an otherwise preoccupied Bones and into my office. Not being the CMO I didn't get much in the terms of an office, but I took what I got as it was my first and I was pretty damn excited about that. I busied myself with paperwork as it seemed to be pretty dead outside, only the few stragglers asking for hypos for various afflictions that had sprung up overnight.

I somehow managed to get lost in my work and before I knew it I heard Bones knocking on the wall in between our two office doors meaning he was breaking for lunch and I could go with him if I was so inclined. I signed off on what turned out to be my final report and dropped it onto the larger pile on my desk and emerged from my office just as Bones did the same. We only glanced at each other but if I wasn't mistaken, in that glance, I witnessed what _could have been_ a smirk on his face. But no, he didn't smirk; Leonard McCoy had _nothing_ to smirk at. We started walking and I looked back quickly just to check if I was actually going insane and saw his face had returned back to his almost-pained expression but that didn't suppress my doubts much at all.

We walked silently to the mess hall where the _entire_ bridge crew was sitting at their normal table, two seats empty at the end, just like normal, yet somehow I'd managed to forget. I knew Jim was going to have something to say about the events of last night, no matter how much he remembered and I wasn't really prepared for that. I started walking slower and Bones' quick pace took him across the room to the replicator and back to the table before I'd even reached the table for the first time. He gave me an odd look right before he settled in beside the Captain and I shook out of my temporary funk, returning myself to the real world. I snapped right back out of it when I got back to the table and realized I'd be sitting by Spock. I had to assure myself that we were all adults and whatever the events of this lunch held, nothing would be deemed against regulation by our traveling regulation book.

Jim's smirk began just as he saw me put my tray down; at least he was polite enough to wait until I'd settled in my seat before he began to tease me. "Jasey, how did your night go last night? Last I remember you told me you were going to be pulling a 'Jim Kirk', I'd just like for you to elaborate." He braced his elbows on the table and looked over at me expectantly, the look on his face borderline childish. I stayed silent for god knows how long, just staring at the table between Jim and I as I felt the blush creep up quickly.

Bones cleared his throat and I turned my attention to him, the damn smirk was back. I knew I'd seen it. "Jim, why don't we save her the embarrassment, I think she knows _we heard_." I don't think my face could have been any more red. The way Bones was acting was so _out of character_ for him, he'd always been Jim's best friend that straightened him out when he acted like this, and now he was going right along with it. I couldn't help but feel like I was being slapped back into high school in Colorado, and I didn't like it very much.

Then I realized that I was playing a game, this was chess, and I was playing Spock. He'd just moved his queen and put me in check. I had one of two options, flip my king, turn and run or fight, pull that bishop out of the shadows and kill her while she's still settling in. And then I pictured myself _as_ Spock, and chose the only logical course of action. I let a smile slide across my face to match Jim's with just a hint more sarcasm, "well Jim, if you heard everything, what else is there for you to know? Wondering if he was a better lay than you?" Spock, who had remained silent and seemingly distant from this exchange immediately tensed beside me and I thought I heard what was him choking on his saliva. I turned quickly, my medical instincts kicking in, my hands flinched to action in my lap, preparing to perform any sort of maneuver necessary but I noticed he looked more like a statue than ever and last time I checked, statues didn't choke.

I turned back to the two men in front of me and Bones' face had returned to something he'd normally wear, a mix between anger and confusion, with that brow line, he wore it well. He wasn't even looking at me and Jim had finally diverted his attention to his best friend, "you fucked her?" I laughed out loud; something I think may or may not have covered another small noise from Spock. Jim laughed with me and I saw the look on Bones' face turn to something that I hadn't really ever seen before so it was a little hard to place, especially since I couldn't read minds. I'd heard that Vulcans were touch telepaths, I glanced up at Spock and he was just as tense before except for his lips, they'd relaxed a fraction and parted and as I stared I watched one eyebrow shoot up. I'd stopped paying attention to what was being said on the other side of the table but apparently whatever it was had piqued the little interest I knew Spock had placed into this situation.

I turned back to the two men who now looked extremely engrossed in the conversation at hand, though they had their own ways of showing it, Jim with an impish grin and Bones with his trademark scowl. "What was I supposed to say? We dated for like a month in our first year at the academy."

I held up a hand and cleared my throat, by this point I even saw Spock incline his head only slightly towards me, "It was less dating, more sleeping together." Jim opened his mouth to say the protest that I'd already expected so I kept my hand in the air, "we did not date, _Captain_, dating is taking a girl out and buying her nice things _before_ taking her back to your room for extracurricular activities. And I still do not count you taking me to breakfast as a date either because A) I was forced to buy my own meal, and B) half the time you were sitting at another table flirting with more conquests." Bones snorted, Spock released a breath of air that may or may not have been a chuckle and Jim searched for his next words to say. And just as he'd regained his cocky composure, the comm pinged on and I heard Scotty's thick accent bellow throughout the room, 'all medical personnel are required on engineering deck three as soon as possible, please.' He then repeated the order, sounding a little more frantic the second time but I didn't have much time to revel in that fact as Bones and I rushed out the door.

When we finally got to Scotty he seemed like he'd absolutely lost it. He started to explain what happened but with his accent and the speed of his speech I only managed to understand a few of the words, one of them which happened to be 'explosion.' He took us around the corner where I realized that someone had managed to blow up part of the ship, it was a small part of the whole but it had still _exploded_, I hadn't really ever seen anything like it before. I counted at least five bloody and broken bodies on the floor but they were all moving in their own right so I had that relief to look forward to, though I hadn't had enough time to fully survey the scene yet. I heard footsteps behind me and turned around right into Jim and Spock, I figured they'd make their way down since an _explosion_ happened and everything. Three nurses and a few security guards showed up behind those two carrying the stretchers. We all immediately got to work on moving the men, what turned out to be seven in total, up to sickbay.

And then in the next five days, I don't remember ever leaving our wing of the ship. I would sleep for one-hour periods every twelve hours or so and spend the rest of my time dressing and redressing wounds for burns, gashes, cuts, and one really nasty broken femur than had speared through the poor ensign's fleshy thigh. He wasn't too excited at the news that he wouldn't be walking normally for about ten months. His surgery alone had taken five hours for both Bones and I to do and the guy had a bad habit of moving a little too much in his sleep so he had to be monitored constantly so as not to undo anything we'd done. I'd been so busy with stressing over my patients as if they were my own children, I'd completely forgotten about any of my obligations I had towards Spock.

So when Bones finally pulled me out to eat lunch and I saw him sitting in his normal seat I could only mutter curse words to myself. Bones went to get food for himself and I sat at the table and stole the apple off of Jim's tray. He only smiled at me; apparently working for five days straight got you some sort of sympathy from the man. "Doctor McCoy has informed me that things have settled down in the sickbay." Spock only inclined his head towards me so he could look at me but not seem too enthralled with whatever I was going to say.

I nodded once, "It's still pretty hectic but we're about to release our second man tonight so things may calm down some more, thankfully." Bones joined us at the table but didn't offer any insight into the situation, mainly because the amount of sleep I'd gotten these past few days roughly translated into the amount of food he was able to eat, and he was a growing boy, the way he ate now was almost savage.

"Doctor McCoy also informed me that it would not be against his objections for our meetings to resume, as he feels he has his unit under control." I cut a glare in Bones' direction and he looked up from his fork-full of food as it successfully made its way to his mouth with a look that could only have been a 'sorry' but I'd never seen it before either.

"Unfortunately, tonight is my night to stay with Zimmerman to ensure that he does not further injure himself and I would hate to relay that task to someone who has already performed it on this rotation." Bones started to speak but I cut him off again, "I guess if you _really_ need to see me tonight you can join me in sickbay. Just bring the chessboard or something." I heard Jim make a slight noise of disdain and I smiled, knowing that games of chess were a regular pastime of his and Spock's budding friendship.

Spock stood up and faced me completely, "I understand your desire to not abandon your duties and I believe that meeting in the medical unit would be the only logical solution." I nodded and it looked almost like he did the same, agreeing with himself. "I shall meet you there at our regular time of 1900 hours." I nodded again, this time he didn't move, "Will you require me to bring you your necessary nightly meal?"

I shook my head, "I'm sure I'll manage to pick something up at some time."

He gesticulated at Bones for just a second, "I'm sure the Doctor would agree with me when I said that you have begun showing the signs of malnourishment. The meals you have managed to eat during your time of great stress seem to have little to no nutritional value." He glanced at Bones and I turned in the same direction, he only nodded and turned his hand in a small circle in front of him, apparently in an agreeing gesture telling Spock to continue with his line of reasoning. "I believe that if you are unable to feed yourself at a time like this, it is only logical that you allow someone else to do it for you." So the gist of this was that Spock wanted to feed me, I never thought I'd see the day. I continued my silent gestures as I shrugged and looked away from him. I felt his presence continue to hover and I sighed.

"I think that was a shrug and sigh of agreement." Jim winked at either Spock or I, I couldn't really tell but either way it was a little weird but it seemed to answer Spock's unasked question since he quietly turned and walked away. And then Jim wasted no time, "so according to your terms, you are about to have a date with Spock." He snickered and Bones made some undecipherable noise, "I wonder if this will end the way we all want it to." He put his chin in his hand in a motion that he'd become obsessed with doing, and smiled mischievously. "You'll have to give me all of your juicy dish in the morning."

"You can't just ask him yourself?" He shrugged, "besides, he has a girlfriend."


	4. Chapter 4

Jim barked out a laugh, "you don't actually think they're still together, do you?" I glanced towards the end of the table where Uhura would normally sit but she wasn't there. "They split amicably about a week ago." And then my brain went into high gear.

I quickly noticed Bones glaring at me and I tipped my head towards him to tell him to go ahead and speak whatever was on his mind, "you'd better keep your Vulcan out of my hair, I have a lot of work I have to catch up on tonight and–"

I gave him a thumbs-up, "you got it."

"I remember studying Vulcan anatomy in my Exobiology class at the academy." It was later that night, Spock had brought me a bowl of what I originally thought to be tomato soup but turned out to be a disgusting bastardization that Vulcans had invented. I ate it anyway and now we were sitting at my desk that I'd pulled outside my office so I could still watch my patients and play chess at the same time. "You have a superior respiratory system, digestive system, muscular system, and all around everything when compared to humans. I mean goddamn, you can even _hear_ better than us." I moved a piece just as Zimmerman flinched on his bed and I rose to walk across the room and quickly check his stats. "So I'm now going to make it my life goal to find something that _I_ am superior to _you_ in.

I took the opportunity to change some dressings on a rather nasty third degree burn covering a crewmember's entire left leg. I saw Spock rise and walk across the room to where I'd just been. I heard the slight ruffle of blankets being moved behind me and I turned my head slightly to see him inspecting Zimmerman's leg. "What is the extent of this crewman's injuries?"

I continued to busy myself with gauze, "he was attempting to run away from the scene because he was the only one to actually know what was going to happen before it happened, after surveying the scene a little more we found a larger piece of shrapnel, about twenty pounds, lying close to where we'd found him. With the calculated force of the explosion, it probably traveled at least forty five to fifty miles an hour directly into his femur." I finished, wrapped the man back in his blankets and turned towards Spock. "With that amount of size and force, it snapped the bone in half and pushed it out the front of his leg in two places. And thankfully we were quick enough in getting him into surgery before any of the marrow leaked too far into his body. It took both Dr. McCoy and I to reset the bone and put the pins in." I sighed, "it was probably one of the worst surgeries I've ever had to work through."

He pushed the blankets back down and looked up at me, his face expressionless. I never realized how much it frustrated me to see him not react to a story of that much intense gore. I pushed it back and finished dressing the wound as quickly as I could without slacking off, not much wanting to have to redo it soon.

I walked back to my desk and sat down, trying to come off as the least bit angry for no reason just to get a reaction from him. He instead followed me, stepping lightly and sat across from me. I scratched my neck as if to actually concentrate on the game and decided to just move a random piece. Spock cocked his head to the side, and raised an eyebrow. His eye twitched just a little and I glanced down at the board, I had him beat. My gut twisted a little, feeling suddenly bad for mistakenly beating him at his own game. I flung my arms across the table and hit the pieces, causing them to fly in every direction. The patients around me were heavily medicated, I knew they wouldn't wake.

"I, um, chess is stupid." I blushed, my face burning. Part of me wanted to know what was going through Spock's head, part of me didn't. I looked down, at anything but the man who was again seated in front of me. I looked up only enough to watch his hands make quick work of the pieces as he reset the board.

Then all movement stopped for a few moments, "I have taken the liberty to take the first move, now it is your turn to choose what you believe to be the best course of action."

I shook my head and laughed a little, whatever he said made no sense. "All you have to say is 'your turn'. And could you give me a minute? I'm fuming here."

"I'm sorry but I do not believe I know the definition of the word."

"It means I'm mad. I'm upset and I don't know why so right now I'm trying to figure out what I really want to do next." I finally looked up but his eyes were doing the stupid look-in-her-direction-but-not-at-her thing.

"If you do not know what you are upset about then I fail to see the urgency of your dilemma." He paused, and _god damn_ if I didn't see the corner of his mouth twitch, "and as you say, your turn." Right at that moment, the slightly smug look on his face, the way it almost looked like he had his shoulders slumped if only _slightly_ as if he'd finally relaxed, my stomach twisted and my brain stopped working. After only a moment I finally got myself together and focused back on the board. He'd only moved a pawn as it was just the beginning of the game and he always played it safe at this point. I'd gotten his game pegged but I just couldn't bring mine to meet what I knew about his. And then I upped the stakes in my mind, if I beat him in this game, I'd get exactly what I'd wanted just a minute before, and he'd like it. So I moved a pawn, committing suicide with it as I watched the smug look on his face only grow heavier with time.

And then, almost an hour later, the game continued. I still possessed my queen, which I thought to be a feat in itself for it always seemed that as soon as I put her into play she was dead so my hopes were high. I pushed my bishop across the board and glanced up at him, "check." His face had returned to the normal expressionless about thirty minutes ago so I didn't really expect him to react, no surprise when he didn't. I watched in almost slow motion as his white fingers moved up from the table and latched onto his rook that I knew had been there all along and I continued to watch as he set my bishop into the graveyard of black and white pieces set up beside the board.

It was his turn to glance up, "I do believe I have put you in check, doctor." And his smug looked had returned. It suited him. I looked back at the board and my stomach sank, I was stuck, were I to move in to kill his rook, he'd kill my queen with his king, and there was no way for me to get to his queen he'd stashed up two levels without risking the whole game. All this work I'd put into this, and yet again, he'd beat me. I put one finger on top of my white king and pulled him down towards myself.

I was upset that I'd lost when I felt like I had so much riding on this one game in my own mind. I almost started a battle in my mind when I realized that I hadn't gotten this far in life by following the rules. I stood up quickly. So quickly, in fact, I had to take a moment to regain my balance as blood rushed everywhere but where it was meant to go. Spock stood as well, though I wouldn't ever be able to tell why. I briskly walked around the desk and stood only inches away from him, I was so short my eyes only came to his chin but I still managed to keep my cool in what felt like one of the most stressful situations of my life.

I knew I'd have to do it quickly so I planned my attack before I went for it, the look of confusion on his face only growing. And then I did it, I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his head towards mine. Our lips met rather roughly and I winced a little as it pushed pieces of gum in between my teeth. He was completely unresponsive but I lingered because I'm stubborn. I pulled away and stepped back in one fluid movement, immediately letting my eyes meet his. His face held no expression, as I expected. And then I watched as one eyebrow crept upward and my gaze remained unaltered. "May I be so bold as to ask what that was?"

I shrugged and finally looked away, growing tired of his bland face, "just an experiment." I paused, "and trust me, I got all the information I needed."


	5. Chapter 5

Okay SORRY SORRY SORRYYY this took as long as it did. I got a small bout of writer's block and then when I had ideas I was too busy to write them down. So here it isss. More to come soon. (:

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I walked slowly around the room, acting like I was actually doing something and his lack of movement made the sudden nervousness in my stomach grow. "It's late, don't you need to get back to your quarters and sleep?"

"On the contrary," I wonder if he ever gets tired of correcting people, "Vulcans can go for weeks without sleep. Upon my calculations, I will not physically require sleep until seven days four hours ten minutes and fifty-six seconds from now."

I snorted. He was pretty much the only person who could piss me off and amuse me at the same time. "It really was just a polite way of asking you to leave. But if you _insist_ on making things difficult, then Spock, I do believe our character building session is over for the night." I smiled insistently and tacked on some sarcasm as an added bonus, "can't wait for the next one." I looked towards him as he was putting away the chess set and I suddenly felt bad for being mean to him. I quelled this feeling quickly by telling myself this _was _Spock, the minute he had a lingering feeling of sadness was the moment the universe ended.

--

Four months and nothing happened. We would come across a planet, Spock, Kirk and McCoy would beam down with various other crewmembers depending on the assignment and they'd always come up with one or two left, again, depending on the assignment. I finally admitted my love for botany and started helping Sulu with whatever whenever.

The meetings continued, though he tuned it down to once or twice a week. They also turned into less of something where he felt he was trying to teach me something to a little bit more of two people meeting to discuss whatever we fancied. I milked his vast knowledge for all that it was worth and he often expressed his surprise at every instance that I managed to outthink him. It actually happened more often than either one of us expected. I still never managed to beat him in chess, though the close calls happened enough to keep my hopes high.

"From where did your interest in the medical field come?" We were sitting in the rec room on deck 4. I don't think I'd ever been here before but we'd somehow found our way here following Kirk's direction. He'd just left after getting called to the bridge for some emergency that wasn't actually an emergency. Bones had left about an hour before citing exhaustion and I could tell. They'd all had a long day down on whatever planet we were now orbiting but I didn't care enough to ask what they'd actually done.

I shrugged and looked across the table, not necessarily at him, just his direction, a habit I'd unfortunately picked up from him. "I was born into a sick family. My older brother died of leukemia when I was four. My father contracted Hepatitis in a way I'd rather not think about. He died when I was fifteen and a year later my mother dropped dead with an aneurysm. The state put me with my grandmother but I ran away in fear that I was the angel of death or something. I learned later she'd had a stroke about two years after I left. I ran around for a couple years and then, long story short, I met a doctor, he turned into basically a mentor for me and he convinced me to go to college. He paid for my undergrad and promised me that I'd have a job at his practice as soon as I was out of med school. He's not dead but once I got out of school I realized that there were other things I wanted to do so I enlisted in Starfleet." His face had remained emotionless throughout the whole spiel but I saw it in his eyes. He was feeling and I felt like I'd just discovered an ancient artifact. "I kept my nose in a book throughout my first bout with school not wanting to let Walt down but once I got to the Academy I saw most of what I'd missed out on and I went a little crazy. And that's how I'm here now."

"Did you know Doctor McCoy before you came to the academy?" He seemed genuinely interested and this was a little weird.

"I didn't. But since I never actually went through my residency, they put me with him. I think we joined around the same time. But don't hold me to that fact or anything."

He opened his mouth to say something but the door swished open and we were both distracted. Kirk marched back in with a stupid grin on his face, "shore leave in two days." He plopped down into the chair he'd previously occupied that was directly across from Spock. He glanced at the prepared chess board in front of him and gestured wildly at it, "let's play." Spock swiveled his chair and moved a piece without a second look. I stood up because it had honestly been a long day for me as well cataloging all of the new plants we'd retrieved in the past week. "Oh by the way, Jasey, you can come, I'll speak to Spock in your absence and he'll decide that he trusts you enough to spend a little time in this little bar on the planet."

"Thanks but no thanks, I actually enjoy spending my shore leave catching up on sleep. Besides, it's not like I can actually run off and get drunk on the night that I'm on call." I walked across the room and heard him call after me, I turned.

"On call doctors can still have fun!" And with that I left, he was frustrating sometimes, it's like he'd never been given the lesson on responsible leadership. Or maturity for that matter.

The ship was abuzz for the next two days. Somehow people seemed to only find excitement when they weren't, oh, I don't know, discovering new things; going where no man has gone before. I couldn't help but feel a little excited myself though, getting the whole ship to myself for forty-eight hours was always a nice prospect.

It was 7pm Earth time, shore leave had officially begun two hours ago and I could actually _hear_ my feet thud on the padded floor of the corridor. And then I could hear someone walking up behind me. I sighed, I gave myself three guesses as to who it was and I won with guess one. "Spock said you could come down, remember?"

I sighed and continued walking, "I told you, I'm on call. Besides, I don't _need_ to go out and get drunk like you do. I do it as recreation every so often in celebration, tell me what I'm celebrating and I might reconsider."

"You're strung up, anyone could tell that, even me, and I can't pick out shit from Susan on women. I'm just offering you an opportunity to relax. You don't have to drink, take your comm with you and come down." So he made some good points. And an A+ to him picking out that I'm stressed and an F to me for not even having a reason for being like this.

"Fine." I heard him clap behind me, apparently I was walking too fast for him to catch up, "I'll go, but I'm bringing Spock." I finally stopped and poked a finger defiantly into his chest as soon as it reached me, "and I challenge you to a game of pool."

"Fine," he walked away and I sighed again, this was getting hard. I don't know why I chose to bring Spock but I'd better come up with a reason fast because he wasn't one to take 'because' as a valid reason."

And somehow I'd convinced him, I'd spouted some lines about him being able to study humans in a habitat that he'd never had the opportunity to see them in. Now he was sitting on a barstool looking slightly awkward with his rigid back while everyone else was struggling to even stand, much less do it straight. I'd challenged him in a game of pool as well to which he informed me that he'd never heard of this game. So now he was watching as Kirk and I played our scheduled game. I had faith enough that Spock would pick this game up quick enough.

Kirk tipped his bottle in the air and, when nothing dribbled to the floor, chucked it to the closest trash bin with a loud clash. He then bent down and lined his cue stick behind the cue ball; the shot that followed was terrible. His last few had been complete table scratches as his drinks started slowly catching up with him. I stalked around the table to pick out my best line of attack on my final ball. I leaned down and closed one eye, "eight ball, left side pocket," and I eased the ball into the pocket. I straightened out with a smile on my face only to find Spock already beside me with the cue stick in hand. Clearly Kirk ducked out before I could gloat.

"You were correct in your description of the simplicity of this game." With that he handed me his cue and walked around the table to gather the balls from their final resting place at the end of the table. And then he racked them, expertly. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that this could end embarrassingly for me.

I walked to the opposite end of the table as him and stood confidently, "I'll break." He nodded and walked around to hang the triangle on the wall behind me. There was a streak of white across the table as I propelled the ball with all the force in my body. I watched as three balls fell in, two stripes, one solid. I turned to him, "you're solids," and I gestured towards the table. Eight minutes later and I was aiming for the eight ball again. He had one ball left on the table, but that was only because I'd had a lead and it took him a minute to get the hang of things.

I didn't know where he was standing but I was pretty focused on the game; that was until someone bumped me from behind causing me to hit the cue ball only slightly. I stood up immediately and felt a hot breath on my neck and a very warm chest on my back. Goosebumps formed where his breath had been and my entire body tingled. I did my best to turn around between him and the table, "resorting to cheating, are we mister Spock?" I could've sworn I saw a smile in his eyes for a split second.

He stepped back, the sudden loss of heat was an odd sensation and I tingled again, "hardly, I was walking behind you and the man in the red shirt back there ran into me causing my body to collide with yours." I nodded, whatever, "but now I do believe it is my turn for you did hit the ball with your cue stick." Without allowing for my protest, he leaned down and tapped his one remaining ball into the pocket and circled the table. "Theoretically, I should state that my efforts will land the eight ball into this pocket," and he pointed at the top left corner, "but if my calculations are correct, the ball will actually land in this pocket back here." He then pointed at the bottom left corner, I nodded and he shot. He was right.

I walked around the table to stand in front of him so I didn't have to yell, "do you have to beat me at everything? I just taught you this game and here you go beating me again." His eyes were on me, and this time I knew it because otherwise he would have seen what would happen next and do something to prevent it. Apparently the bar had gotten crowded since I last checked and the dance floor was overflowing. A woman, or what I hoped to be a woman, appeared behind me and lost her balance. She then tried to use me as a hand hold and grabbed the back pocket of my pants. The force of her falling forward towards me pushed me towards Spock. I put my hands out to brace myself and he put his hands up to brace me. I didn't even pay attention to the rip of my pants as they proved not durable enough for this sort of stress because my eyes were still on Spock's and my hands now in his.

What I felt in the moments that we were frozen in our position was almost indescribable. Every emotion I had confusion, anger, sadness and elation, felt like they had just been doubled. I felt like what I was feeling I was feeling for about ten other people. And then I realized that I was just _confused_, those other emotions had managed to conjure themselves from thin air. I felt his hands leave mine and the feeling was gone, I was just confused again. My eyes were still on his and my hands still on his chest, and then I felt a hand on my elbow. He tugged one hand away and the other followed, I finally entered myself into the real world again and realized that some bitch had just ripped my favorite pair of pants. But I couldn't freak out, his hand was still on my elbow and I was now being guided through the crowd.

Once we were outside I saw him reach for the hem for his over shirt and I immediately knew his intentions, I put a hand on his arm, "that's unnecessary, I'm fine being a quarter naked for the beam up." He nodded, still silent. We started walking to get to an open area and I hooked an arm in his even though I knew it was something that he'd immediately shrink away from. Instead I got a reaction that I don't think anyone could have expected, even the drunk guy puking about ten feet away from us. With one alien move he flipped me towards him and pushed me back against the pole I just happened to be standing beside. His lips found mine within seconds and I whimpered in a pained response. I responded quickly and he put a hand on my shoulder, I reached a hand up to meet his, hoping to feel that same rush of emotion as before but it caused him to flinch away. He stood about three feet away from me with a look of anger in his eyes and I could have honestly crawled into a hole and died.

"I am sorry," his breath did something that bordered on a gasp, "I am sorry, I lost control of myself, you will have to forgive me."

It felt like a cheesy romantic moment that you only heard about in stupid stories but I answered him by closing the gap between us again with another kiss. The cliché moment I was having went away as soon as I heard what I thought to be a groan coming from the back of his throat. My tongue probed for entrance and he answered by plunging his into my mouth. I put a hand on the back of his neck and he on my waist. I made sure to avoid his hands with the hopes that this moment would last forever. But then I was the first to pull away since his brain could go without oxygen for longer periods than mine could. I gasped, my head was spinning and for a moment I had no idea what was going on.

His face now looked determined, the same way it does before he beams down to a mission except this time it had an added flush of green in his cheeks. He grabbed my elbow again and turned on his heel to continue walking in the same direction we had been minutes before. As soon as we could see sky above our heads he pulled his comm out and flipped it open, "transporter room, two to beam up." He flipped it closed and let go of my elbow as they complied.

The next thing my brain actually registered as being relevant was the door to my room closing and Spock walking up behind me to put his lips on my neck. The shock of the entire night hit me all at once and my knees gave out. He caught me by the armpits and carried me to the couch which was the closest piece of furniture to us. He sat me down and seated himself beside me. As soon as I'd noticed he'd settled in, I pounced again. He twisted his hips and laid back on the couch, not really showing much protest to my teeth on his neck, his jaw, my lips on his. And I reached down, I traced my finger down his zipper before reaching back up to pull it down. He still didn't seem to mind my expedience so I continued to play with his pants until I felt I'd opened them enough. I pulled away and held my face inches from his, "I know your anatomy, pull it out. I'd rather not see anything abnormal at the moment." His ears had a tinge of green and I leaned over to give my attention to his right one.

I licked up to the tip and I felt him respond into my hand. I grabbed hold of his penis and flicked my wrist up and down once. He groaned again and writhed under me. I enjoyed this. I continued to pump as my lips found his again. I flicked my thumb over the tip and I finally elicited a moan from him. He turned his head away from mine and rolled his hips up. I grinned and it was at that very moment that my comm pinged in my back pocket. He stopped moving so I did the same. I took my hand off of him and used the other to fish the comm out of my pocket. I flipped it open, "Doctor Carter here."

"We've got a pretty nasty case of alcohol poisoning down here. I thought I could take care of it but he's only getting worse." Nurse Chapel sounded flustered, but nothing more than normal, so I figured I didn't need to be _too_ worried.

I sighed and stood up immediately. "I'll be right there." I grabbed my uniform off the chair beside me and walked to my bathroom. When I walked back out Spock was standing, fully dressed and primped again, beside my door. I really didn't know what to say to him. I put a hand on his rigid shoulder, "tomorrow, then?"


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, it's short and a filler, I know and apologize. But you know what comes after fillers, right? Well not _always_ but let's just say, I hope you won't be disappointed with the next chapter which should be up in a little while. I have to work the weekend but hopefully I can stay up all night and write for you lovelies. I realize I haven't said it yet but I do thank you all for reading and reviewing :D. It's been so long since I've written ANYTHING really so I'm glad that someone actually likes this, haha. Okay, sorry for the babble.

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Due to the fact that every person knew how Nurse Chapel felt about the half-Vulcan aboard the ship, I chose to not participate in the small talk she initiated about the separate events of our nights. Instead I treated the man with the necessary medications and chose to walk him back to his quarters before returning to my own. I didn't actually expect him to still be there after I'd left him with what really felt like the worst statement ever but I still felt disappointed when the door opened to an empty and dark room. And then I spent the rest of the night telling myself I couldn't think about the events of the night but with my great self control, that went over well.

The start of the next shift found me more adventures with the crewmen who seemed to have just beamed themselves down into trouble the night previous. Most were treatments of random STDs that only took a hypo and a strict talking to to treat but others managed to get into _actual_ trouble. Bones came in as I finished with my last patient looking almost as beat up as the worst of the men I'd just treated but he refused anything other than a big cup of coffee and some more quiet time in his office.

Ten minutes later he stepped out with an exasperated look on his face, "staff meeting in ten. Apparently some big shit went down last night somewhere near here." I never actually attended the meetings much to Bones' disappointment due to their notorious boring nature but the term 'big shit' gave me hope that this one would be good.

When we got to the small conference room that was right off the bridge the room was empty. Soon after we'd settled into our seats Spock and Kirk walked in, I pretended to be utterly fascinated with the lines on my hands as Spock took his seat right beside me. "Good afternoon Doctor Carter." I nodded towards him but only managed to look at Kirk's face. He looked strangely well after the night I expect he'd had and I smiled at him, trying to quell any unprofessional comments. They came anyway.

"So what ended up happening after the pants fiasco? I saw you two leave." One side of his mouth quirked upward and I finally looked over at Spock. He looked like he was prepared to kill Kirk with silence so I guessed this was going to be all mine.

"You were sober enough at that point?" He nodded, not really looking like he was ready to add any more. "Spock helped me back to my quarters. Then I got called to sickbay for a slight emergency. I got a little bit of sleep." He glanced between Spock and me with a skeptical look on his face but dropped the subject as everyone else started filing in. The meeting was far from interesting like I was hoping it wouldn't be so I tuned it out after a couple minutes and let my thoughts carry me other places. I tried to keep them simple, thinking about what I'd do after the meeting was over; probably follow everyone to the mess for lunch if it was that time. Then I started thinking about I would eat, where I'd sit at our table, at the end across from Bones, beside Spock.

Spock, I pulled myself out of my daydream just enough to glance over at him in the chair beside me. He had both hands resting atop each other on the table, I watched as no part of him actually moved when he spoke to the Captain, something a human would have to concentrate hard to be able to do. My eyes lingered on his hands too long and I flashed back to last night, remembering how his fingers had lazily traced their way around my hips and up my back, something I would never be able to guess he could do now with the rigidness of his entire body.

I then started imagining his hands if they would've been given more time to roam last night. I had to lean down in my chair and spread my legs a little as I was immediately aroused at just the thought of his hands on me. I put one hand on each thigh but dared not move them because I was _not_ about to get myself off in such a public setting. And then I realized that I should probably stop thinking about Spock altogether if I didn't want this situation to have an embarrassing end.

I tuned back into the conversation at the table just as it seemed the meeting ended for the Captain was now adding in his closing remarks as everyone around the table stood to leave. And then it was just the four of us in the room again though Bones was seriously looking tempted to make it three. Jim slapped his hands on his thighs as he stood up and sighed, "well I don't know about you guys but I'm starving. Lunch?" Bones grunted a reply and walked out of the room, I followed without really looking behind me since I found the more I looked at Spock the more I fantasized about him and that just wasn't healthy.

I followed Bones to the closest mess hall and we all settled into our normal positions around the table with the rest of the crew that had just cleared out from the meeting. It was halfway through the meal before I actually thought of something to say to Spock that couldn't be misconstrued. "So, are we having another meeting tonight?" And with all the raised eyebrows around the table, clearly this wasn't even an innocent route.

"If you are not engaged in any other matters tonight, I believe it would be only logical to meet tonight as we missed a scheduled meeting last night." By this time I was pretty sure the entire room was quiet but I tried to put that out of my head.

"I will meet you at your quarters at 1900 hours." I stood so I could leave, feeling that someone _somewhere_ felt like they needed me just a little.

"Do you not feel that we will need to –"

"Dinner will not be necessary," Jim snorted, "I will see you later Mister Spock." Never in my life had I actually felt like a girl about to go on her first date. I had thought I'd felt this before but it was clearly a hoax for now the feeling in the pit of my stomach felt like something that could only be described with adjectives not yet in my vocabulary. But I did intend on making tonight extremely interesting, to say the least.


	7. Chapter 7

That night, right at 1900, I was standing at his door with a large bag in my hand, confidence renewed. The door opened to reveal him in his black uniform that I hadn't seen since our academy days. I held up the bag and grinned like a small child, "I brought dinner!" He stepped aside and allowed me to walk in and towards his tiny kitchen. "I know Vulcans are vegetarians, don't worry, its penne primavera." I set the bag down and turned to smile at him again, "which is just pasta with vegetables, in case you didn't know."

His eyebrows rose slightly and I saw what I thought to be a quirk of his lip. "We need to discuss the events of last night so as to clear the air between us as some have mentioned." I didn't even want to think about whom it was that he'd been discussing last night with but I didn't let it affect me at all.

"Let me cook you dinner first. We have all night to talk about that." He took a step towards me and I turned around quickly. "I've been told I'm a pretty damn good cook, so we'll have to see how you feel about it." I pulled all my ingredients out of the bag, including the large skillet and pot I'd stolen from the kitchen. I didn't hear him move but he was suddenly beside me, digging in a small tin on the counter. I watched as he pulled out tea bags and I smiled, this could actually be a good evening after all.

"I was mocked in great length after you departed from lunch today." He dabbed the cloth napkin at the corners of his mouth and set it down in the middle of his empty plate. I cocked my head to the side though I knew he was already planning to elaborate. "The captain and Doctor McCoy stressed to me that tonight would include coitus. From the literature I have read about human sexual practices, it is to be precluded with a statement of mutual love between the two parties."

I dropped my fork on my plate and nearly dropped the food I was chewing out of my mouth. I swallowed quickly as I saw the expectancy on his face, clearly had not expected me to react this way. "I think whatever literature you were reading was grossly outdated. Sex is an important thing – to most people – but in this day and age, it does not require the feeling of love to be mutually expressed between the two parties to happen." I knew my explanation was terrible but he seemed to follow along quite well.

"So sexual intercourse is now a casual interaction between two people? Much like shaking hands is a casual and friendly act on Earth."I snorted but he continued. "Is this why you found it so easy to engage in sexual activities with an ensign you had only first seen hours before?"

"That was different," I couldn't believe I was discussing this, and with Spock of all people. "It was an experiment of sorts, and I learned a valuable lesson." I looked down, embarrassed and hoped he could pick up this fact and stop the line of questioning before this became any more personal than it already was.

"If you do not mind me asking, what was it that you learned from the experience?" He'd placed both elbows up on the table now and his hands were twined together in front of his chest. I'd never seen him so relaxed before and never really imagined that this would be the setting for me to see him like this.

I signed and laughed awkwardly, "that I can't do it without feeling, I have to feel something. I know that sounds terribly cliché but it's the truth." I shrugged and looked directly at his hands that didn't move except for the ever so slight twitch every so often. I don't think I'd ever found hands so erotic before his, but every time I saw them I felt a tingle down to my core.

"Does this mean you had feelings for the captain?" This was starting to get odd, I was waiting for him to pull out his data pad and start taking notes. He noted my hesitation, "If you wish for me to halt this line of questioning I would not object."

I shook my head, "it's fine, as long as you're almost done. To answer your question, yes, I was smitten with him. I thought I loved him at the time but I later found out it was a foolish assumption to cover my feelings of pure lust."

He did some Vulcan form of a nod and placed his hands back in his lap, "now that we have had this conversation, I feel it imperative to say that I do not believe we should pursue a sexual relationship at the current time." I couldn't come up with a coherent response so I just waited for him to speak again. "I am expected, per Starfleet regulation to maintain a professional relationship with you and I believe that entering into such a relationship would be frowned upon by the Academy."

"I don't understand." The look that flashed across his face at that moment made me feel like I was his mother and I'd just done something incredibly embarrassing in public, that would be if he were human, but instead I'm sure it was just absolute confusion. He opened his mouth to speak but I pushed one finger into the air and he closed it slowly again. "I do understand." His right eyebrow shot up to the blunt line of his hair but I tried to ignore it. "Just, what you're saying is that while I am under your supervision we aren't allowed to do _anything_." His head bobbed up and down once and his eyebrow returned to a normal height. "I just have one question. Do you know how to pretend?"

"I'm sorry; I do not understand what you are asking." I stood silently and walked around the table. His chair was already pushed a good ways away from the table so I didn't have to worry about moving any furniture to make my next move that he clearly did not anticipate. I hitched one leg up and slid it over his lap, I grabbed both of his hands that sat lifeless in his lap and pulled them up to settle myself down on him. I let his hands fall back down between our torsos but he quickly relocated them to my hips which made me smile.

It was then that I finally looked back at his face, "pretend that Starfleet has no regulations. Pretend that we're merely equals, pretend that your life isn't ruled by logic and at this one moment anything could happen." I put both of my hands on his chest and spread my fingers out as far as they would stretch, trying to touch as much of him as I could all at once.

His hands then went from my hips to my wrists. "I am not sure I can allow myself to lose that much self control." His voice was low, lower than I'd ever heard it and I couldn't really tell if that was a good thing or not. "It would be illogical for me to pretend to be something that I am not."

I sighed, "just tell me one thing then. I know you can't lie so this should be easy." My arms finally gave into the weight of his and fell into our laps with his quickly following. "Tell me what you feel about me. Tell me that you _feel_ something."

His answer was more than I expected. He kissed me, teeth clicking on mine as I struggled to close my mouth after finishing my short rant. He didn't seem to mind though, pushing his tongue into my mouth far too quickly for me to actually react so I finally relaxed and just followed along with everything he did. He returned his hands to my hips and latched on tightly, my hands roamed his chest finally. He pushed one hand down towards the hem of my Starfleet regulation skirt and pulled his lips away from mine but kept his forehead pasted to my own. "You asked two things of me."

I smirked, "you answered them." His eyes twinkled and I felt that that was much more than receiving a simple smile from the typical human male. I pushed at the hem of his shirt and pushed my chin forward to kiss him again. It was short, I started to work my way across his jaw line to his ear, licking up to the tip just like I'd done the other night. His body stiffened as I did it but I started taking my cue from his hands that kept working double time. I started searching then, trying to find some of his pressure points because I knew even his reaction to his ear just wasn't _enough_. I licked and grazed my teeth over the taut skin between the back of his ear and his hair line and he gasped, his hands pausing on my left butt cheek and thigh to squeeze as his hips bucked forward. Clearly I'd found it. I did it again with a grin on my face and I wasn't really surprised when the rest of his body followed his hips off the chair. He carried me across the room and practically threw me on the bed.

He'd already unzipped my skirt so I pushed it down my legs as he played with his own pants to get them off. Apparently underwear is a foreign concept to Vulcans because for the second time his pants were removed in front of me, he lacked the extra layer. I smiled and played with the hem of my shirt. It was, apparently, something that he wanted the glory of removing so he joined me on the bed, kneeling between my legs to put his hands on my sides and slowly push my shirt up. I gasped as his too hot hands grazed all the spots that I used to find made me laugh but now only helped to turn me on he pulled the shirt over my head and let the long sleeves trail slowly up my arms as he pulled with a frustrating speed that I really wanted to assist him with. I leaned forward and kissed him, pulling at his shirt as soon as he'd released my hands.

But as soon as I felt I'd made some ground by reaching under his shirt to feel along his toned abdominals, he'd grabbed my hands again and pinned them above my head. He kissed me again, more passionately than any of the other times and growled a little into my throat. Just as he was about to pull away I poked my teeth out and gnawed a little at his bottom lip. He took this as an invitation to kiss me again, trailing his lips down my neck but stopping at my clavicle, it was almost like he was afraid to go any further. He pushed my underwear down to my ankles and I flicked them across the room.

I felt something warm against my thigh and looked down to see he'd finally become aroused. I noted the green hue and looked away, focusing my eyes on his toned chest and abdominals. And it seemed as soon as I noticed that he was hard he was thrusting into me. It was shocking and I cried out from the force and the suddenness of it and basically the whole situation made me want to scream. He kept my hands pinned above my head with one hand while the other rested lifelessly on my hip. He stared at a spot above my head and his face was filled with disinterest. I growled and dug my fingernails into his tough skin hoping it would draw his attention back to the situation. It did, but all he did was lean in to kiss me. By this point in time I wasn't feeling anything so I did my best to fake an orgasm and started panting below him. He leaned down to kiss me dispassionately and pulled out quickly.

He lay, still as a rock beside me with only a thin layer of sweat coating his body to hint at what we'd just done. "I don't get it." He didn't turn towards me but his hand twitched, "have you never had sex before?"

He finally turned his head towards me, looking about as relaxed as I'd find him when the Enterprise was about to explode "is this your attempt at what some call pillow talk?" The smug expression on his face made me want to punch him until blood was coming out of his _ears_.

"Pillow talk typically happens after good sex. Pillow talk typically happens when the two people actually paid attention to what was happening the whole time. Was that a no then?" I tried to return his expression but I knew mine didn't cut half as deep.

"I do not believe that my previous experience is any of your business at this point. If we are to enter into a relationship and you wish you know the other women I have courted, I will be happy to make a list for you." And then he looked away again, eyes surely staring out the small port hole to see the stars and the vast expanse that lay between us and them.

I sat up and grabbed my shirt from where it was perched on the edge of his bed. I pulled it over my head and finally noticed that he'd never even bothered to take my bra off. I didn't even want to look at him to speak again, "what does that even mean, _if we are to enter into a relationship_? What just happened between us?"

He sat up as well but I could see through the corner of my eye that he shared the inability to actually look at me. "I was under the impression that this was something that you wanted, you told me you had feelings for me so based on your personal definition of coitus, we were to do what you wanted."

"So what do _you_ feel for _me_?"

"You are merely an acquaintance, and someone who has been placed in my supervision by the leaders of the Academy. While you are still in my care, I do not think that it would be very logical of me to cultivate feelings for you, as you so wish. I mentioned this earlier in the night but it seems you did not understand my meaning."

"Let me get this straight, this was a pity fuck? You only slept with me because you knew I wanted to sleep with you. That's pretty low and highly illogical, I would think even _you_ would be able to see that." I picked up my skirt from where it lay a couple feet from the foot of the bed and stepped in as I stood. "And you should really take some pointers on how to _actually_ have sex. Ask your friend Jim Kirk, I'm sure he'd be delighted."

With that I left. I knew he probably had so much more to say but I didn't want to hear it.

----

*hides* Don't hate me. Update next week. Sooner rather than later since I just got fired.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Okay here goes. I know this took FOREVER but I had to fight through a ton of writer's block. That will explain any sort of inconsistencies (though I hope those don't actually exist, if so, sorry ): )

Annnnd you may be happy to know that I felt so bad for making you wait that I made you wait EVEN LONGER so that I could just finish it. Haha, so yes, this is it. Unless I get mad at myself and decide to add more or something, though as school is about to start, I'm doubting that will happen anytime soon.

Okay, enough ramble, HERE GOES.

---

The next morning found no one in sickbay. Bones thought it a good time to repair some of the beds as Chapel and I loomed above in case he needed us but not really willing to help. The current moment found Chapel and I perched on the side of a bed with Bones tucked beneath the one in front of us. She swung her legs and looked at me after a particularly long pause of silence from the man on the floor. "So what happened last night?" Something metal clanged to the floor and Bones cursed, we both laughed quietly to ourselves while making no move to help him.

I knew she was practically in the center of the ship's gossip mill so the question didn't surprise me; it just gave me very good, very high school ideas. "Oh, _you know_." I let the pitch of my voice rise, much like when girls tell gossip, I hoped she didn't actually pick up that I was mocking her.

She gave me a toothy grin and turned towards me, "really!?" I nodded and I could just see her anticipating the run to her data pad to tell every woman on the ship, and some of the men.

I put a hand on her knee to stop her even though she wasn't about to move, "but if you must know, he didn't even come." Her eyes opened wide and more loud noises erupted from under the bed. I looked down to where I could only see two legs poking out, "Doctor McCoy, you okay down there?" He grunted and the movement and noises ceased so I took that as a yes. I turned back to Chapel, whose face was still gaping, "yeah, don't tell anyone though. I don't want him to know I thought he was a terrible lay."

She grinned and shook her head, "of course not. This is just between you and me." She stood up suddenly, "you know, I remember Sulu asking me to do something for him earlier and I still haven't gotten around to doing it." With that she walked away and it was about that time that Bones reappeared from under the bed.

He grabbed a cloth that lay on the floor beside him, "you're really terrible, you know." I shrugged, "Spock talked to Jim and me this morning at breakfast. I know what happened."

"Then you should understand why I'm mad at him and why I feel this to be my only form of revenge since we all know who would win the battle of wits." He made no effort to stand, leaning back against the bed so I knew he was about to lecture me.

"You should never _want_ to exact revenge on someone; even if it is on that man. It could only lead to worse things. And dammit anything worse than the worst sex in your life has got to be pretty bad." He laughed a little and shook his head; I didn't really want to know what he was thinking about.

"Thanks _dad_."

He looked back up, "hey, you're really good at burning bridges, seems at the moment I'm pretty much all you've got. You don't have to listen to what I'm saying but it makes me feel good that I'm doing it. So indulge me a little, yeah?"

I rocked back onto my hands, "I just thought you'd get all that out of your system with the Captain."

He looked down and I saw his cheeks turn a darker shade of red, "no, with Jim it's... it's different." He paused then shook his head, "no I could never see myself being Jim's father figure, not now." I quickly put that statement in the back of my head, not really wanting to spend the time trying to figure out what it was supposed to mean. "Not that I'm acting like your father, just, well..." He stopped, which was good, the babbling was starting to freak me out.

Thankfully the doors chose that moment to swish open and for a moment all I saw was a yellow blur as my eyes tried to refocus to the long distance. Once I did, Jim and Chekov were standing behind the bed that Bones was using as a backrest. Jim's eyebrows were knitted together, "where's Bones?" I took that moment to look to Chekov who had a pained expression on his face while he held his left wrist in his hand. Bones stood up and Jim's eyes lit as he stepped towards him. He whispered something low and Bones shook his head. Jim then gestured towards me and Bones turned for just a second, I nodded in that second, not knowing what to do or say.

I saw one of Jim's lean fingers hook into the waistband of Bones' trousers and tug slightly. Bones turned his head back to me, "it seems Chekov here fell and sprained his wrist, it's nothing you can't handle alone." He stumbled forward a little after that as if Jim had just pulled harder and followed him expectantly back into the office in the corner. I shook my head and ignored my thoughts once again.

I worked silently on Chekov's wrist as he babbled on about tripping on the bridge and how no one would ever take him seriously now if he can't even stand straight up. I acted like I was listening but there's only so much doctor patient banter I can handle in a month's time. And as it neared the end of the month, I was close to my limit. There weren't many space age technologies I could use on him so I shot him with a hypo and wrapped the wrist with the instructions to remove the bandage after a couple hours or when the numbness wore off. I sent him on his way with a pat on the back and a few words of encouragement since I finally figured out that he was seriously beating himself up over this.

As soon as he left Chapel showed back up with a smile on her face; I didn't mention the fact that Bones had the captain holed up in his office or the fact that it made me incredibly uncomfortable to even think about seeing them when they came out. Instead I mentioned that I was incredibly hungry and ran away much in the same way she'd done earlier. I ended up wandering the halls for an unknown amount of time before I finally ended up in front of a mess hall. I didn't know the time but the room was filled enough that I figured it wasn't an unnatural time for me to eat. I sat at my normal table and Uhura, Sulu and Chekov settled in beside me. They talked amongst themselves about the next mission we were hurrying towards. I would have actually known what they were talking about had I paid attention in the staff meeting.

I tuned myself into the conversation, "Admiral Barnett doesn't trust the captain to handle this situation, I think they're considering this to be a test." Uhura glanced quickly as the door opened but relaxed when an unnamed ensign stalked in.

Sulu looked to where her eyes had just been and ducked his head to be closer to her. "He doesn't see the severity in the situation. Not only is there a civil war happening down there that's been going on for years but then one of the groups manages to set off some sort of bomb causing an earthquake of epic proportions. The captain just thinks that this will be a simple diplomacy issue. We may be beaming ourselves down into total disaster."

I tuned them back out because their doomsday talk wasn't really helping my already gloomy mood. I finished up quickly and said my goodbyes to three people who looked seriously scared about the future. I pinged Chapel in sickbay and she informed me that Bones had left his office in the best mood she'd ever seen him in and I'd probably find it in my best interest to stay away for at least another hour. The best way I found to relieve the tension that had been building in my body since I first boarded the _Enterprise_ was to run.

So I went to the gym and climbed up to the indoor track and ran. I ran until my feet were killing me and my legs burned with lactic acid and I ran more. For a while I felt I could run forever, hoping that eventually it'd take me away from where I was. And I when I was actually feeling relieved for once, I ran into a wall. I hit the floor with an 'oompf' and felt as my elbows scraped along the textured floor. As soon as I recovered my bearings I immediately started to try to figure out what had just happened to me.

Immediately to the left of my knees poking up in the air I saw two Starfleet issue boots that led to a navy blue shirt and two goddamn pointy ears. "What are you doing?" It didn't come out the best way possible and I was prepared to repeat it when he reached out a hand to help me up.

I swatted it away and he straightened his back again, "I have been informed of the rumors you are attempting to spread throughout this vessel."

I laughed, "should have known it wouldn't take that long, your ears are like satellites." I picked one elbow off the ground and toyed with the loose skin there. I bent my knees under myself and stood up on my own with not even a flinch from him. I couldn't really be offended though since I just pushed away his feeble attempt at helping.

"Perhaps I did not make myself clear; I do not appreciate you slandering my name to the other passengers. This is also a personal matter and if you feel the need to express your distaste with me I will ask you to please make your point known in my presence."

I walked the short distance to where I'd discarded my uniform for my workout clothes. I picked them up and turned back to him – he'd followed me. "I'm still pissed at you, okay? So you coming in here asking me to do something for you isn't really going to work. I realize what I said was stupid and childish but there's not much I can do about it now, is there? So you'll just have to do what everyone else does in times like these and _deal with it_." He still didn't say anything and I couldn't read a thing from his face. "Now I'm about to go to sickbay to fix whatever shit you just made happen to my elbows and I _really_ don't want you to follow me because I'm done with this conversation."

---

It was a week before we finally reached our destination and a week where I saw not one person of an alien species in or out of sickbay. I never took the time to learn the name of the planet since I wasn't going to be dealing much with the diplomatic issues, only waiting by the communicator for Bones to tell me he was beaming up someone who needed to be fixed.

I was treating a slight head wound while Bones and Jim were tucked away in his office. Just as the ensign slid off the table, Jim marched out of the office. He adjusted the hem of his shirt and walked towards the door after a nod of acknowledgement. "Oh right," he held up a finger and whipped back around in the doorway, "Bones wants you to come down with us tomorrow but he didn't know how to ask you which I don't really understand since he's your boss. But I anticipate we'll really need the manpower so come down with us to survey the scene, if you're not needed you can go back up."

And it turned out the scene was nothing one doctor couldn't handle. Most of the wounded had already been pulled into infirmaries and treated for most all of their injuries. Bones spent the morning talking to their head doctor about what supplies were needed but not available on the planet. I spent the morning standing beside him trying not to let my boredom show. Once we'd left there he sent me to relay some message to someone who clearly had not been brought up-to-date technologically while he beamed back to the ship for supplies.

It was about an hour long trek and this planet was unnaturally hot. I'd heard someone say that this planet was extremely similar to Vulcan except instead of the red rock Vulcan had been covered with, this was white. It was darker here though, as their days were shorter than a typical earth day so I was fortunate enough to not be blinded by the reflections. I also found, as I wandered, that more people came out in the darkness, though according to the reports, this was only a third of the normal population as so many lives were lost in the recent tragedy.

I received weird looks as I finally reached the village I was sent to. It was at the base of a mountain, one that towered over the landscape, much like the ancient Mount Everest once did. Earth hadn't made a mountain range naturally in millions of years so certain governments had taken it into their own hands to construct some themselves. As much as I loved nature, I could never find something so unnatural beautiful. This, on the other hand was majestic and completely natural.

I found the nearest man and asked him in his native tongue, one that I hadn't practiced since my first year at the academy, where I could find the doctor. The sentence was simple enough and he understood which was a relief. He pointed to the base of the mountain and said something I didn't understand, I nodded with a smile and followed his finger.

As soon as I reached the bottom I noticed the disaster area of rocks blocking a path that led up the side of the mountain. There was a sign at the head of the trail a couple feet back from where the line of rocks began but I wasn't about to be able to make it out. I shrugged and just kept walking, thinking the rocks weren't too big for me to climb. I reached the other side and turned around when I heard yelling coming from the village. The sight I saw wasn't the most heartwarming one I'd ever seen in my life but it was the last one I saw for a while.

I woke up to complete darkness and a blinding pain shooting up from my left foot. I tried to shift my position but found that my hips had been pinned between a rock and what felt like a solid wall of dirt. Before surveying the predicament I currently had myself in, I did the best medical check I could do on myself in my awkward position. When I was done I was none too pleased that it seemed the only bones I'd actually broken were in my foot, though that couldn't be proven. A few of my ribs felt bruised and I could feel a couple unsightly gashes on any larger patch of uncovered skin. I also felt a knot on my head; most likely what caused the blackout, if only I could have known just how long I'd been down here.

I sure as hell hoped that one of those people I saw right before this fiasco went down went to get help. Until then, all I could do was sleep, though I knew it wasn't the smartest idea in my current state but I was always very pessimistic, as the minutes wore on I felt my fate was sealed.

I woke up in regular (or irregular) intervals judging my time by the amount of pain I felt when I pressed on the bruise in my ribs. The pain had begun to subside when I finally started hearing noise on the other side of the rock to my right. I'd finally figured out it was dirt beside me but the rock beside me was way too big for me to even think about digging my way out and possibly disrupting its current position. I did, however, manage to disrupt the dirt enough to wedge my hips into a better position.

After a couple more naps, the noises on the other side of the rocks were growing louder. I knew they probably had heat sensors but I didn't know how good they were with this type of rock so I used every bit of my power to yell out once. My voice was so raspy and weak I doubt anyone actually heard me but the noise outside paused for a moment. It was another couple minutes (hours, days?) when I felt heat on my feet and saw a sudden stream of light, illuminating everything around me and giving me the worst instant headache I've ever had.

I felt pressure on my right foot and flinched, thinking that the rocks were finally collapsing in on themselves but when the pressure turned into a hot grip I forced myself to wrench open my eyes. It was a mistake for many reasons, one of which was that I couldn't see a damn thing. "Doctor Carter?" Pressure was then added to my left foot and I yelled out, kicking the hands away with my working foot. It took me longer than I would've liked but I recognized the voice and tried to shrink back into my cave.

"Get away from me. Go get someone who actually knows how to deal with an injured person and stop trying to save the day." I heard Spock mumble something in agreement and it was weird. Though I guess I had to expect him to act differently when in a life or death situation. I still wasn't doing good on measuring time so it could have been hours but Bones showed up eventually, and I could actually tell this time because my eyes had finally adjusted.

"What is wrong with you?" He had dark circles under his eyes and what looked to be a couple weeks of scruff but with his testosterone levels it could have been as little as a few days. His voice sounded strained and he was a little breathless.

"Well now that you ask, I've broken my left foot, my ribs are bruised and I may or may not have permanent brain damage."

"That last part is right." He kneeled down and prodded lightly at my foot. "What the hell do you think you're doing sending someone away who is trying to save your goddamn life? I'd be in my right mind to leave you down here for acting so childish."

"It's nice to see you, too, Bones. I'm so glad I'm alive. I lost all my faith in you guys after the first week." I grinned a little, as much as my wince at his poking at my foot would allow.

"Leave it to you to be sarcastic in a situation like this. And for the record, we only let you rot down here for four days. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to try to get you out of here so we can get off this damn planet." He wedged himself down farther into the hole and I then noticed that I could have been standing up this whole time, not that I wanted to but it just put things in perspective. "You should also really try to rest, which includes talking since you sound like you have a serious respiratory problem when you speak." He smiled, so it wasn't _that_ serious, just a major lack of water, but I knew I must sound like hell.

Slowly but surely he hoisted me up and braced my body with his, making sure he kept my foot entirely off the ground with his leg. He craned his neck out of the hole and announced our departure before we slowly but surely made our way out. It wasn't very far to the surface, and they'd dug at an angle and depth that allowed us to virtually walk out.

As soon as we were out of the newly created cavern I managed to turn around and survey the damage for the seconds it took to be transported directly to sickbay. Bones walked me to the closest bed and helped me in, strapping me down and issuing a strict order to not move. He walked to his cabinet of magic and started pulling out handfuls of hypos. "I just want to know what happened. Do I even get that?" In a room that echoed I heard my voice and it sounded absolutely dreadful.

He shook his head when he was walking back over, "Spock's the only one that really knows and he spent so much time digging for you I never got to actually ask. I guess you'll have to wait until he comes to visit you."

I shook my head once because he pressed a hypo to my throat, "you tell him," the hypo went off, I felt a tingle, "that he won't…"

I woke up in the dark, very reminiscent of my past few days and immediately commanded the computer to turn on every single light in the medical wing. I had a brace on my foot because I'm sure Bones had to fumble through some calcified stuff to set the bones though I was pleased to note the pain was gone. I flipped my legs over the side of the bed thinking the short trek to my office to grab some water wouldn't be that difficult. I thought wrong and collapsed to the floor on muscles that weren't really used to holding the weight of an entire person.

Bones, who only manages to see you at your best, chose that moment to exit his office, most likely calling it a night. I glanced up to him and saw him staring up towards the lights, "so I guess you managed to develop a fear of darkness in your time away from us." He then winced, I tried to fashion my face after Spock's.

"I will ignore that highly insensitive comment and ask you to come assist me up from the floor as it is your job." He'd already crossed the room and lifted me up by the time I completed my request but I still felt it necessary.

"Forgive me; it has been a long few days." He propped me back up on the bed, "I'm sure you need water, do you need food? You still haven't eaten actually; I just put you out when we got here. I'll go get you some food." He turned around and walked out without another word and I sighed dejectedly, at least I'd get food out of being left all alone again. I maneuvered around again and lay back finding myself falling asleep again but I tried to fight the urge, knowing I'd have to reenter the real world sooner or later.

The door slid open again and I turned my head towards it, eyes still closed, "that was quick."

"I do not think I was the person you were expecting."

I sighed, "well you got that right, ten points for you!" I opened my eyes and he was closer to the bed than I expected. His cheeks had a slight tinge of green and the sharp line of his shoulders looked a little rounded, in other words, he looked tired. I was shocked; a tired Vulcan was a very rare sight.

"Doctor McCoy informed me earlier today that you were interested in knowing the events that led to your accident. I attempted to relay the message to him as you do not seem to approve of my presence at the moment," I let out a small noise in agreement, "but he told me that he would rather I tell you myself. I was taking a walk through the corridors now and he informed me that you are now conscious and willing to listen, though I am now beginning to believe it was all a ploy to get me to spend time alone with you."

I sat up in the bed a little, "surely you jest, Bones? Trying to put two people together with an age old method? I don't see that ever being possible." A flash that I would have missed if I blinked, his face relaxed and small wrinkles appeared by his eyes. It made me comfortable until I remembered that I hated him. I yawned, "I guess my mood is as good as it's going to get for having to put up with you so shoot." One eyebrow went up and I sighed, "tell me what you came here to tell me. Jesus, you need to start studying human colloquialisms if you're going to be spending so much time with us."

He ignored my final statement and adjusted his position slightly to turn towards me. "I was in the village discussing with the elders about the issues that caused the conflict to arise in the first place. After this they began to lead me around to survey the damage caused by the seismic wave that pulsed through days earlier. As we approached the mountain, a younger man informed an elder of your ascension of the rocks at the base and they immediately pinpointed your location and attempted to retrieve you. They described to me that the rocks had fallen from the mountain over the course of the past few days at regular intervals. They are still in the process of studying the pattern. Your presence at that very moment that they fall was merely a coincidence. The ground collapsed beneath your feet as the rocks fell and we do believe that may be the only reason you are still alive." He paused, but looked ready to continue.

"Alive she is, and very hungry. She'd be parched too if I didn't give her some water intravenously." Bones appeared behind Spock's back with a tray in his hands. He walked over to the side of the bed and placed the tray on my lap, turning to adjust the bed so I could sit up. He'd brought me soup, a sandwich and a glass of water. "Eat." He held out a spoon and I grabbed it, feeling that a fight to regain a bit of my dignity would be pointless at the moment. I took a couple sips of the soup and looked back to where Spock had been standing. Somewhere in the short span of time he'd silently disappeared, which was a good thing since I was running out of ways to tell him to go away. Bones attempted to wait around to keep me company but due to the fact that I could see the bags under his eyes growing, I kicked him out.

I woke up in the morning once people started bustling around the room. I gave Chapel my very insistent word that I would be perfectly safe sitting behind my desk for the duration of my shift and somehow convinced her to walk me there. Later that day Bones informed me that Spock had told him to tell me that we were still meeting tonight, though apparently he'd finally decided to forego dinner. That's when I remembered that I still had three months of this god awful punishment to complete. Bones released me with the explicit instructions that I was not to do any excessive jumping or running and that I should make it a priority to not stand at the base of unstable mountains.

I was there, on time and in uniform. Spock greeted me at the door with a face that rivaled Bones' scowl. I walked with confidence, or as much as one could with a big brace on your foot, to his couch and threw myself on it without a word. He followed me and that began the two quietest hours of my young life. Which I guess they were better than any alternative I cared to think about. I stood suddenly and he jerked his head away from the extremely interesting wall, "well I was strictly ordered not to stay out too late so as not to put myself into any danger so I guess I'll be going now. This has truly been enlightening. I look forward to our next visit."

Every visit after that was the same, we'd sit on the couch for a number of hours until one or both of us grew tired of the silence. It turned out to be therapeutic for me, giving me time to wind down after what was typically a long day's work but I would have rather done it anywhere but in the presence of Spock. I was never one to hold a grudge but it was just too easy to hold one against him and he never really offered any evidence as to why I shouldn't hate him so I just continued.

---

It was a Friday, I knew that much. And I only knew that because the entire ship was buzzing with the fact that we were finally docking back at earth tomorrow. I'd heard from everyone their explicit plans for our two weeks off and I was a little jealous. My only plans were to rent a hotel by the beach and spend my time avoiding anything and everything work related. Though I did find it slightly endearing how excited Bones was about finally seeing his daughter again.

So it was Friday, the night before an extended shore leave, the time when everyone had already given up on getting any real work done and I was sitting in my office working on a metaphorical stack of paperwork. It made no sense that it was still called paperwork; I hadn't touched a real piece of paper since before I began at the Academy. But my list of things to do seemed to grow more than shrink, probably because as I submitted certain reports to be double checked by Bones, he read them and sent them right back. It was actually comforting to know that I wasn't the only one working but I knew he was probably up in his room nursing a glass of bourbon doing these while waiting for the Captain to get off shift.

Sickbay was deserted; no one wanted to come in at the risk of being held here while everyone else got to leave the ship. I wasn't actually working anyway so if someone were to come in they wouldn't be my problem. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, tapping my stylus onto the screen of the data pad watching the LCD react to the force with multiple colors. It beeped once, pulling me back into reality as Bones sent me back the report I just sent him. Apparently I'd entered the symptoms wrong; the man's thyroid had been _swelling and oozing_ not just _oozing_.

"If you want it done right you can do it yourself." I threw the pad on my desk and watched it slide to the opposite side. I smiled at the thought of leaning forward to push it off the other side, but my evil plans were interrupted when my office door slid open. I leaned forward and grabbed my data pad, forcing it back into my lap, "you can come in, knocking is overrated anyway." I looked up to see Spock walking slowly towards the one chair I'd finally acquired for in front of my desk. He sat, "why don't you take a seat?" He quirked an eyebrow and I shrugged, "sarcasm. I'd say one day you'll get used to it but I know you won't so let's not fool ourselves." I paused and he stayed silent so I decided to continue the apparent roll I was on, I leaned forward just enough to prop my elbows on the edge of my desk and put my chin in my hands, "you've got me on the edge of my seat, do tell why you've come to visit me at such a late hour."

He cleared his throat which I found odd but I wasn't about to press, "I have just completed a conference with the Admiralty at the Academy." I racked my brain, looking away towards the door, no, it couldn't be, time didn't fly that fast. "I informed them that you completed your probationary period with no problems. Upon my word they have released you from my care."

I raised my hand in a toast-like gesture, "I'll drink to that." I leaned back in my chair and resumed tapping my stylus, "oh this feels weird. How am I to spend my nights if I'm not with you, Spock? Those hours of silence were the highlights of my week."

"That is sarcasm, I presume." I laughed, he stood. "If there is nothing else, I will leave you to you work."

He turned to leave, "have fun with the rest of your life."

This caused him to turn back around, the look on his face had not changed but I knew the mood had instantly shifted. "I am sure you still recall our _encounter_ five months ago." I nodded. "If you will recall also what I said..."

"No. No Spock. Too many things have happened... or more like not enough. You and I are two different people now."

"Not emotionally." He turned completely back around and gripped the back of the chair in front of him with white knuckles.

I barked out a short laugh. "Emotionally? You've got to be kidding me. Spock you don't have one emotion in your body. Or maybe you do but you have some serious issues with the way you portray them." Part of me wanted to go on, wail into him with everything I'd felt that I may or may not have stated previously but the other part just wanted this to all be over.

"May I ask you a question?" I glanced at his hand, the chair was beginning to give with the force of his grip. I looked back to his face – but not his eyes – and nodded. "Do you know how it feels to be in love?"

The question was a shock, I breathed out quickly as if he'd just punched me in the stomach. Once I recovered the answer was easy, "no." I spoke quietly but I held my gaze on his face.

"I do not either. As a half-human I am told that I will feel it more intense than if I were to only have Vulcan genes. As a Vulcan, I was taught from a very young age to purge all emotion. What you expect from me is to go against everything I have ever known and allow all of my human emotions to be shown. This is impossible, a task I would never be able to complete, but that does not mean I do not feel them. I am not, as you may say, a robot and I do not appreciate being treated as such." He left before I could answer, which was a very female thing, something he may or may not have picked up from me, but I reminded myself that this _was_ Spock.

It took me a minute but I stood up and walked out. I didn't know what I was doing or why, I don't even know what in his little speech motivated me but something did and that was all that mattered. He was in the corridor, walking briskly towards the turbolift at the end. I stopped at the doors of sickbay, hoping to not have to make this a full-on chase scene. "Spock." He stopped and waited a couple beats before he turned around, hands behind his back, standing at full attention for some reason. "That wasn't my intention, at all. I don't want you to be different. Besides," I shrugged, "I like you just fine the way you are." I didn't notice I was walking but once I finished speaking I was standing directly in front of him. He made the first move by putting his hand on my cheek and I told myself that this was instantly different.

He leaned down and touched his lips to mine, allowing me to add the pressure or back away. Against that little voice in my head, I leaned in and his hand trailed from my cheek to the back of my neck. My lips were already slack when his tongue pushed its way into my mouth but I didn't fight it. We stood in the corridor for minutes; it shocked me as I felt people staring when they passed. I pulled away to breathe and rested my forehead on his I cracked my eyes open and looked into his to see what could only be described as burning desire. "We should relocate to a more private setting." I nodded and grabbed his wrist turning around and silently pulling him back to my office.

As the door slid shut my back was being pressed against the wall. He scraped his teeth up my jaw line ending with a nip to my earlobe. He pinned me to the wall with his hips so he could use his hands for other necessary things. He pulled one of my legs up and I wrapped it around the backs of his thighs and his other hand rested dangerously between the skin that poked out between my uniform shirt and skirt. As the hand on my leg moved up my skirt, he decided the other would do its best work under my shirt and pushed it up.

I pulled at the collar of his shirt so that I had more space to bite and suck at it, leaving multiple marks on his pale skin. Soon enough he was attempting to push me out of my shirt so I reached for his as well. At the same moment we both realized it would be much easier to remove our own clothing. Our shirts fell at the same time, a pile of blue that grew darker with the discard of his pants. My skirt was too complicated for even me to get off so he pushed it up and pulled my underwear down. I pushed forward and grinded my hips on his and he groaned. He was aroused against my thigh and I reached between us to grab it, throwing every single one of my inhibitions to the wind. I started at the base and pulled up quickly causing him to jerk his hips forward and groan like he had before. It was a good noise so I started doing everything I could to elicit it.

He worked his fingers quickly on the front clasp of my bra and pushed the straps over my shoulders. I let it fall as far as it would go without me letting go of him, it'd fall off eventually. He ducked down and licked lightly over one nipple and I shuddered. He bit it hard enough to leave a mark and moved to the other one, repeating his motions. He continued to move back and forth, adding pressure each time until I could barely hold myself on the one leg I had on the ground. "I... I want you." He stood up straight and looked directly in my eyes. I saw a slight question on his face that I didn't exactly understand, if I didn't want him then I sure as hell wouldn't be standing here pinned to the wall almost as naked as the day I was born. "Yes." My coherence flew out the window as soon as he so much as breathed on me so I didn't exactly know what that meant but he seemed to interpret it the correct way.

I felt his hands grip my thighs and I was suddenly flying through the air as he turned us around and sat me on the edge of my desk. I pushed everything off, making sure the data pad fell extra hard, and leaned back on my elbows. He wasted no time pushing in to me but this time was different, he held my eyes the entire time and when I felt his ileum press against my body, he paused to lean down and kiss me. He pulled out a little and pushed back in with a small grunt that made me smile. He drew a hand up and placed it on my face in a way that I'd seen before, "if you do not mind." I shook my head and he connected us. I felt every emotion I was feeling plus all the ones he was too. The meld was weak, though I wanted it to be so it didn't cloud out anything else that we were doing. He moved inside me and I felt intense satisfaction pulse throughout my body though I didn't know if it came from his mind or my own.

Through the meld he could feel when I was getting close to the edge and he slowed his movements. I bucked my hips towards him and tried my hardest to only think mad thoughts. His eyes crinkled at the sides and I was filled with amusement. His thrusts became harder and he leaned down to kiss me again, and that pushed me over the edge. I came – for real this time – and apparently that was all it took for him to release as well. He emitted a long growl that turned me on even though that was absolutely impossible in my state and I sighed and lay back onto the desk.

He was gentleman enough to know that collapsing on top of me would not be the best idea in this position so he pulled out of me and the meld at the same time. I whined at all the loss at the same time and he leaned down to press a single kiss to my cheek. He started to walk over to his clothes but I grabbed his wrist, "I'm sorry." It was all I could think to say that would make up for how much of a bitch I had been but apparently it was enough.

He leaned down to kiss me again, lingering on my lips for longer than I'd expected, "an apology is not necessary. I like you just the way you are."

---

I'm BACK hay. Okay first, I just had to throw in that K/M because I needed to add that in for my own amusement. Don't hate.

Second, it's really early and this hasn't been betaed. Any mistakes are my own though I do periodically try to run through and eliminate anything extremely obvious. Sorry.

Umm. I actually can't think of anything else so uh just review if you want, concrit is welcome as I enjoy it (:

It's been real. It's been fun...


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